Hoots, jings & help ma' boab - it's Harry Lauder!

It was perhaps tempting fate a little to have blogged an entry on the trials & tribulations of actors & celebrities who "care" the other week.
Just because authors such as Iain M. Banks ("Feersum Enjin") & Irvine Welsh ("Train Spotting") wrote in the vernacular (and some years ago) no doubt Peter Mullan believes that by attempting his piece in today's Herald in a likewise fashion that it will convey an earthy & heartfelt message of humanity. His Beano-esque attempt at Scots however, falls well wide of the mark.
Peter is worried -
"Ah've decided to write this article in mah own clumsy and inconsistent Glasgow Scots/English. Ah'm nervous coz ah don't want to alienate any readers."
Peter, you needn't have worried. The fact that your name was attached beneath the byline did the job all by itself. Not that there is an awful lot in the way of substance other than riding on the coat tails of the Vujac family's forced removal from Scotland some weeks back. Going on previous history, I was surprised that he didn't manage to namecheck his good friends & comrades in the Scottish Socialists.
What was that again about celebrities and quiet dignity?